Walker Hayes was a struggling singer/songwriter with a wife and six children, so family shopping trips often came with some predictable tensions. Kids tend to want things they can’t have and, as all parents know, it’s not always easy to keep telling them “No” with grace and patience.
During an outing to a big-box home improvement store, for instance, the Hayes children kept asking their dad to buy some of those blowup decorations that you often see in front yards around the holidays. Needless to say, they weren’t in the family budget, so Hayes made a promise in an attempt to get them to stop asking.
“If Dad ever has a Number One song,” he told them, “everyone gets a blow up.”
It felt like a safe offer until his song “Fancy Like” began climbing to the top of the country music charts in 2021. That Christmas, there were six ginormous blowups in their yard.
As a leader, have you ever made a commitment you didn’t expect to have to keep? Maybe one that you gladly followed through on, like Hayes, or maybe one that was hard for you to keep?
The most memorable time that happened to me was when I promised my son we would paraglide off a mountain in Europe as long as he arranged everything. He was a bit of a procrastinator at the time, so I was confident he’d never do the work to get us airborne. But he did, and that was bad news for me, because I have a fear of heights.
My promise cost me some money, but more than that it cost me whatever price you want to put on the anxiety I felt as my professional co-pilot and I ran off the edge of a cliff.
Frankly, I still struggle at times to face my fears. But Hayes, in two interviews he did earlier this year for the Global Leadership Summit, reminded me that it’s OK to aim for the stars and that dealing with the pressures that come with our commitments often comes down to focusing on the right things.
Focus on today
Hayes said the favorite song he’s ever written is the one he’s working on today. That’s a great mindset, isn’t it? Don’t worry about the past. Don’t live on the laurels of your previous wins. And don’t obsess about the future. Just do your best each day on the work you’ve been given that will help you keep the promises you’ve made.
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Focus on what you do best
There’s power in the humility that comes from working with other people who fill the gaps for us as we pursue stretch goals and strive to keep our promises.
As a songwriter, Hayes said, “I’m lyrics. … Melodies aren’t my thing.” Knowing that allows him to pair his talents with those who are great at melodies.
All leaders have identifiable strengths – things like vision-casting, an eye for detail, or a unique ability to evaluate risks. But leaders risk the success of their teams when they attempt to write melodies when they need to stick to writing lyrics.
Focus on what you love
Hayes has a fascinating story that includes overcoming addictions and working in places like Costco to make ends meet while pursuing his music career. When times were toughest, he kept going, he said, because of the support of people around him like his wife and because he never stopped doing what he loved – writing songs.
“I didn’t plan any of this,” he said. “I’ve definitely been given a gift in that I love to write a song. Anytime I experienced doubt or frustration with my dream, the humorous thing is that I would write an idea about that on my hand with a pen (while working) at Costco.”
Focus on gratitude
When Hayes worked at Costco, he’d run into people he knew in the music industry who clearly felt awkward about seeing him there. His message to them: “I’m insured. I’m making good money. I’m stocking your produce.”
He tried to keep his focus on what he had, not what he lacked.
“Our normal,” he said, “is pretty extraordinary when you think about it.”
If you have a fear of heights, I don’t recommend making a promise that will lead you to a paragliding misadventure. But as a leader, don’t be afraid to make a promise you can deliver on if your team hits some stretch goals. Then focus on what it takes to help them accomplish those goals and enjoy the journey of getting there together.
Van Harber
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Van Harber